Saturday, December 26, 2009

Home Alone

We spent the holidays, as we do most days, home alone with our 2 dogs.  I was quite content until Steve started reflecting on holidays past that were shared with family and friends.  It saddened me that his focus was on what was...rather than what is.

Sure I would love to have a close family and lots of friends, but I accept the way things are.  Over the years, since Steve became ill, it has been hard to maintain our friendships.  It makes it difficult when friends invite you to do things and you are constantly turning them down.  Although they understand Steve is sick, after a while, they stop asking.

So I can see why Steve took comfort in his memories.  But I chose to focus on what we have now...each other.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Disability Hearing and Week 5 Update

On Wednesday, Steve gave himself shot #5.  The weeks seem to be flying by since he is back on the triple therapy.  He has been doing really well this time.  Recently he has experienced some dizziness and started itching but nothing like before.  So hopefully, the addition of the Procrit will keep him from developing anemia again (and the breathlessness that went along with it).

He went to his disability hearing on the 4th.  I went with him, but I wasn't allowed in the room when he was testifying.  The lawyer wanted me to be a witness.  He informed me when we got there, so I was totally unprepared.  When I went into the room, the judge swore me in.  And quite honestly, I was so nervous that it took me a minute to distinguish my right hand from my left.  Then the lawyer asked me a bunch of questions, and I just answered to the best of my recollection.  It was hard to remember the exact timeline of everything- especially since the questions were referring to 2002.  Had I known I was going to be a witness...I would have gone through Steve's medical records again and committed the dates to memory.

One thing I can say is that I believe the judge and the vocational expert knew we weren't BSing.  At one point, while I was talking, I looked over and saw that Steve was crying.  I felt so bad.  He tried to hide it but the tears just came pouring out.  And I know the judge and vocational expert saw it as well.  After the hearing, Steve and I sat around talking about all the things we forgot to mention. But I guess the most important thing is that we were honest, so whatever happens is what is meant to be.

Safe, Healthy, & Happy Holidays to Everyone!!!

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

In Memory of MaryEllen

She Was Diagnosed With Hep C In The 90's. Her Doctor Convinced Her That The Side Effects Of The Treatment Were Worse Than Effects Of The Virus. She Died Of Liver Failure. Today Would Have Been Her Birthday.