Sunday, January 24, 2010

The Stress is Building

With the finances being the way they are, I have been a bit stressed out.  I try not to show it, because I know that Steve feels guilty about not being able to help out.  Unfortunately, the other day, I blew it.

Here's what happened.  Last week my supervisor told me that I was eligible to work overtime. The additional money could really help us out, so I was ecstatic.  The only problem was telling Steve.  In my mind, I was anticipating that he would be resistant to the idea.

You see, when Steve became ill and unable to work, I literally became the center of his universe.  (And I totally get it, if I spent 5 days a week all by myself, I am sure I would feel the same way.)  When I am not at work, we do almost everything together.  And when I am at work, he looks forward to me coming home. Other than watching the news on TV, I am his lifeline to the outside world.  I always try to be there for him. It's something that he has gotten used to and has come to expect.  So sometimes, when I do have something to do that doesn't involve him, he's resistant.  He won't tell me not to.  He'll just come up with reasons why it may not be a good idea.

Well, we were sitting around watching tv, and I figured that was as good a time as any to mention it. And I told him that I was allowed to work overtime and that I would like to do so.  Then I asked him what he thought of it.  And he told me that he didn't think it was a good idea. He said he was afraid that I would get burnt out.  And I snapped, and regrettably I said, "You don't think drowning in bills is going to burn me out!"  The minute I said it I wished I could take it back.  Steve's face fell, and we were both miserable.

We sat there for a while in silence.  I apologized.  Then we talked about it and agreed on 1/2hr a day.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Rejected by Roche Patient Assistance

As I mentioned in the blog on November 26th, even with insurance the copays are very expensive.  Right now we pay $345 for the Ribavirin and $605 for the Pegasys each month.  We applied for financial assistance with the co-pays a few weeks ago through Roche Patient Assistance Program, and we were just notified that we were denied.

To be completely honest, I found the entire process to be B.S.  The first time I called I gave the representative our gross household income and insurance information.  I asked what the eligibility requirements were and the representative couldn't tell me.  The rep did inform me that in a few days I would get a call from someone at Roche notifying me if we were qualified to receive an application.  About a week later, we received the call.  After verifying our insurance information, Roche determined that we were qualified to apply, and we would receive the application in a few days. We did.

The application was very basic.  It asked for our GROSS household income, insurance information and had a section for the doctor to fill out.  Basically, the doctor's portion asked what type of Hep, how many weeks of treatment, where to send the drugs and required the doctor's signature.  We were also required to send a copy of our tax return to verify our income and original prescriptions from the doctor.

So we filled out our portion, faxed it to the doctor to fill out his, and a few days later Steve picked up the application and the RX's at the doctors office.  Then we sent everything to Roche and less than a week later we received a notice that said that we were denied because our income was over the limit.

I think it is pretty rediculous that it took 3 weeks to find out that our income was too high, when I told them what our income is the very first time I spoke with them!  If the original rep would have known the eligibility requirements, obviously I wouldn't have applied, and we wouldn't have gotten our hopes up.  BAD SYSTEM- Gives you hope for no reason!

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Father and Son

The holidays wound up well. My stepson came down and stayed with us for a few days.  When Steve first found out he was coming, he got totally stressed out.  Since I was working, Steve didn't know what he was going to do with Zach during the day- especially since Steve wasn't feeling 100%.  He knew he wasn't going to be able to run around with Zach, and Steve was afraid that Zach was going to be bored.  But he got all stress out  over nothing, Zach just wanted to hang out and spend some time with his dad. 

It was great seeing him.  He has really turned out to be a good person with a good heart.  He's 20 years old now.  Steve was diagnosed when he was 12.  I really don't know how,or if, Steve's being ill affected Zach.  He keeps things close to his chest and doesn't really talk about his emotions.  However, I do know that Steve harbors a tremendous amount of guilt.  He feels bad about all the things he never did with Zach.  All the time that they spent together when Steve just didn't have any energy.  All of the times that Steve missed (including Zach's high school graduation).

Spending time alone together gave Steve the opportunity to tell Zach about Hep C, the treatments, and how they make him feel.  He told Zach how he feels about him and how he wishes he could have been there for him.  And although Zach doesn't say much, I know that if he ever had any doubts about how Steve feels about him, he doesn't any longer.